A feeling of contentment after the pandemic 2022

Me

Back in January, I wrote an article — My transformation, in a nutshell about my life and what I went through, growing up. I think it was then that I truly realized that I mattered and sharing my story was nothing to be ashamed of!

So I’m writing this article because I have turned a massive corner with my mental health, my emotional health and my physical health.
Yesterday I took this photo of myself, feeling no shame and feeling great — the healthiest I have felt in such a long time. I quit smoking in March 2020, due to Covid and my fear of dying — who would look after my children if I wasn’t here? Then there was, how will my children cope if I was to die? So many confusing thoughts entered my mind constantly 247. I didn’t gain weight after quitting the fags but I ate too much junk food then I wouldn’t eat so much, kind of yoyo dieting without realizing what I was doing to my body.

This pandemic has taught me so much about life, about the world we live in and about those who matter the most.
I try and be there for anybody who needs me to be, I support those people and I like to think those people would be there for me too — sadly that wasn’t the case. When I needed people during these last two years, they were nowhere to be seen. My family was at a crisis point, at rock bottom and the support we received was zero. I fought so hard to get us back up from the dark hole we were in, to get support for a child who was impacted so so badly and her mental health reached its lowest. An older child who was struggling to cope with everything that was going on around her and then there is me, trying to be strong, sleep-deprived and juggling work and home — this was my biggest struggle, so losing touch with my best friend was tough.
To this day, we aren’t really in touch — I try, it takes two, right?

The present day

I’m feeling great and learning to love myself, I may have put weight on, lost a little or even stayed the same but that no longer matters as either way, I feel like I’m at a healthy weight with a healthier mind!!
I have made a couple of life long friends on Twitter, through my writing journey and these beautiful people are family! Speaking of my writing journey, I have grown so much in my writing and I owe a lot of thanks to some wonderful people who have encouraged me and supported me, but most of all — who have never judged me!!

Finally

Only keep people in your lives, who have a positive impact and who stay for the bad times aswell as the good.
As long as you have kindness in your heart, karma will always be good to you.

Thank you for reading.

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Debra Reay

Debra Reay

Writer, Poet and survivor of childhood abuse! Author of poem's~A Child Unloved and Soul Destroyed. Hopefully one day, I will get a book published!