Forever the threat
*TRIGGER WARNING* Mentions of sexual abuse
As she stood there
Watching on
As the bath filled
Bubbles majestically
Forming like clouds
As she’s stripped
Clothing removed
With gentleness
Fear and dread
Across her sacred body
To be so young
So afraid, she froze
As she tests the water
Toes first, she looks at you
With tear-filled eyes
A million questions, why?
Beautiful blonde hair
Felt like someone else's
Cut it all away
To make her ugly
Forever the threat
Weighing her down
Wishing for more
He never gave up
A constant nag
The quietest of voices
She found to say
I don’t want to
I don’t like this
I really don’t want to
Words fall upon his deaf ears
Though anger and rage flew
As he scrubs and grabs her hair
Roughness until she bleeds
This wasn’t yet over
As fear burns a hole in her soul
She begs for forgiveness
Take me, take me now
To a place you have to
But put me back together afterwards
As the lights dim
Paralysed by fear
Waiting, she waits
Still…
She was not put back together
© D.Reay2023
This has to be one of my toughest pieces of writing to date, so firstly, thank you for reading!
This poem is telling the story of an incident of sexual assault by my father, as a young child and the shame that I carry for almost begging for him to continue his abuse, in order to stop him from being angry at me for saying NO.
