If only

Trigger warning —Mentions of abuse

Photo by Nathan Dumlao on Unsplash

If only you would stop
Before you started
Instead, you took from me
A power, unreturned
An innocence lost
In some place unvisited
You were not ill
Nor was you diseased
Yet you were to be looked up to
Like others, dads
Though you were different
If only you saw the error
Of your wayward ways
Admitting wrong-doings
Or just didn’t do it…..full stop.
I wrote many a letter — unposted
Yet burnt
I’d ask why? why me?
You would beg for forgiveness
A sorry may have sufficed
Moments passed, years gone by
With one thing left to say
I survived

If only

Today on the 19th June 2022 ( Fathers day) I decided to write this poem as a way to try and come to terms with my childhood abuse.
Today after 26 years, I was hit with the reality that not only did my father sexually abuse me as I was growing up — but what he did to me, hurts more than what my other abusers did to me!

Thank you for taking the time to read this piece!!

--

--

Get the Medium app

A button that says 'Download on the App Store', and if clicked it will lead you to the iOS App store
A button that says 'Get it on, Google Play', and if clicked it will lead you to the Google Play store
Debra Reay

Debra Reay

Writer, Poet and survivor of childhood abuse! Author of poem's~A Child Unloved and Soul Destroyed. Hopefully one day, I will get a book published!